Octopii Upset Over Being Equated to Spiders

Apparently, someone said an octopus is nothing but a wet spider

Created by Anu Anniah using Canva

People all over the world have been having a hearty laugh over recent memes that state an octopus is nothing but a wet spider. When you read it for the first time, it sounds pretty true.

Spiders are obviously getting a huge cheap thrill out of this whole episode. How often does a spider get the chance to be in the news!

But the worst hit, and the ones not smiling at all, are the octopii. They don’t think this is even remotely funny.

The World Octopii Union is up in arms against this baseless allegation. They might have taken more steps, but while they were up in arms, all their arms got tangled and it took a while to sort out the mess.

OctoTwitter is on fire ever since this news broke out. With 8 arms at its disposal, each octopus is able to type out 4 tweets at the same time. Given that there are over 300 species of octopii across the earth’s oceans, OctoTwitter sunk into the ocean weighed down by the unprecedented deluge of tweets.

Still sore about being compared to dry, boring, web-based creatures, the octopii are stymied by their inability to tweet. Not for long though. They have now decided to protest by inking their thoughts.

Samples of irate messages from octopii around the world

From which angle do we resemble spiders?
Top response: From every angle. But you are slimy.

What on earth did they find common between us and those ugh spiders?
Top response: Have you counted your legs and theirs? 8 legs. Hello! Commonality!

Spiders start protesting

While they initially thought it was a good joke and even felt a bit happy about the comparison, spiders are now unhappy too. They are hurt by the fact that the octopii think this is a derogatory comparison.

As the Spider World Wide Web gets active providing counter-responses to this situation, webmasters have extremely busy days. It is all 8 arms on deck for the webmasters as they struggle to keep their web servers up and running.

James Bond roped in

It is rumored that the slimy octopii have roped in James Bond as their brand ambassador. On being asked why they chose James Bond, the head of the World Octopii Union replied:

Isn’t it obvious? He was the star of the movie Octopussy. Who else would make a great brand ambassador to fight our cause?

James Bond was not available for comment.

Spiderman enters the fray

As soon as the spiders got wind of James Bond, they began to weave their own strategy. Pretty soon, they had posters and photos of Spiderman all over their websites. With Spiderman, spiderman, friendly neighborhood spiderman on their side, they felt invincible.

The Final Argument

Like any other issue, in spite of such famous brand ambassadors, this fight too lost steam over time. The octopii ran out of ink and the spiders got busy with bugs in their web servers.

(In any case, the World Octopii Union got further busy in a huge furore over whether they should be called World Octopii Union or World Octopuses Union or World Octopi Union.)

The final argument for the whole situation was presented by a young octopus that innocently asked its mom:

‘Why can’t we create memes that say spiders are nothing but boring, dry, and inkless octopii?’

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