The Kitchen Sink is a Bottomless Pit

Humor

The mystery of how the kitchen sink sprouts unwashed dishes 24/7

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

Under normal circumstances, I have a domestic worker who comes in every day to do the dishes and clean the house. Due to the current lockdown, she is safe at home. That means I have to do the dishes, sweep the house, mop the house, etc etc.

No, we don’t have a dishwasher. I am the dishwasher right now.

Which is all very well if I have to do it on a one-off day when the domestic worker doesn’t show up. But every day? For several days?

It begins to feel as if the scrubber and sponge are welded to my hand.

The Concept of Akshaya Patra

In Hindu mythology, there is a concept called Akshaya Patra — an inexhaustible vessel that keeps producing food.

My mom had her own theory. She called the kitchen sink as the Akshaya Patra in our house. The sink keeps filling up with vessels, magically, she used to say.

I recall her wise words now more than ever when I see this in action with a speed that has to be seen to be believed.

I Love Washing Dishes

Given a choice of which household chore I’d love to do the most, I will always pick washing dishes. I’ve said this often to various people in various conversations.

Tip: Be careful about what you say. The Universe is a master at misunderstanding your words. While I said I love washing dishes, I never said I want to do it all day, all week.

However, I seem to have said it often enough, and now the Universe is handing me dishes by the dozen.

Just today, I tell you, I washed a zillion dishes, wiped them, put them away, cleaned the kitchen counter, and left the kitchen unattended for just a little bit to attend to some other work.

A short while later, I went back to the kitchen for a glass of water, and I swear to God, I was shocked to see a few dishes in the sink, again!

Sometimes I wonder if Peeves the naughty ghost from Harry Potter just comes along and drops some dishes in the sink while I am not looking.

The hubby was passing by. I ranted to him that I can’t imagine how more dishes showed up there when I had just finished washing them all.

And…the wicked husband said…
”Don’t lie. You probably didn’t wash them in the first place.”

He is lucky that I was out of reaching range of any heavy object that could have morphed into a missile…

Enlisting the Teen for Help

Since dishes keep appearing at the speed at which I wash them and put them away, I sometimes beg the teen to help. Sometimes she does.

Yesterday was one of those good days. I washed bucketloads of dishes, and she wiped them and put them away.

Through the lockdown, she has helped a few times, bless her.

However, I think yesterday she too realized the mystery of the never-empty kitchen sink.

Here’s the thing. We are not foodies. We don’t really whip up 5-course meals and desserts and whatnot. Our meals are very basic. This fact further deepens the mystery. Why, why are there always so many dirty dishes in the sink?

Suddenly, the teen made an exasperated declaration. She said, “Ma, don’t cook anymore.”.

Me: “What? Why?”

Teen: “Then what! See how many dishes there are. Even if you make just rice, there are 4 dishes to wash already.”

Me: “How is that?”

Teen: “The bottom part of the cooker, the cooker lid, the plate you keep in the bottom part to raise the height, and the actual vessel in which you make rice. That is 4 dishes in all.”

I laughed heartily. This was bothering the teen so much that she was actually calculating the number of dishes. Such a scream.

Me: “You forgot to count the serving spoon that we will use to serve the rice.”

Teen: “Oh yeah, make the number 5 then. See, that’s why you should stop cooking.”

And so it continues. I continue to wash, and the dishes continue to magically appear.

I Miss my Domestic Worker

I love the lady who comes in to help around the house. I really do. But my love for her has never been more apparent to me than now.

I really miss her. Especially when I see dirty dishes in the sink. Which means I miss her practically the whole day since…well…since my kitchen sink is an Akshaya Patra!

And I suddenly see her in a new light. She actually manages to render the kitchen sink empty and escape before the sink magically fills itself again. And she manages this awesome feat in all of the houses that she works at.

The Bright Side

Is there one you might ask? All of this should have given me a sinking feeling, right?

Wrong! There is always a bright side. Sometimes, you have to really look hard for it, or dig it out of your imagination.

Here is my take on the bright side:
Since I have been washing soooo many dishes, all the lines on my palm seem to be fading away.

Photo by Keenan Constance on Unsplash

I am now in control of my own destiny. I can draw lines on my palm as I see fit, rather than live life by the lines drawn for me at birth.

Howzzat??!! 🙂 🙂

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