Surely you have a case of Multiple Personality Everything in Order
Darlings, on any day, if you get up in the morning feeling like you are worthless, or that you haven’t achieved much, just use this ready reckoner. See how many of these apply to you on average.
Do yourself a favor. If you miss some of these on some days, don’t beat yourself up.
Also, remember that you do not wear your underpants outside. You are human!
Chief Chef and Leftover Manager
Admit it, you are the ‘default’ cook. All others in the house are options. If no one elects to cook on any day, the system resets to the default!
You are the one who worries about the menu for the day, from breakfast, to lunch, to evening snack, to dinner.
You are the one that checks the refrigerator for leftover food to make sure you are not producing more food that will be left over.
You are the one thinking ahead to ensure that all the fruits and vegetables are not quietly expiring, and are used gainfully in daily menus.
Grocer and Supply Chain Manager
Yup. You know what is running low on which shelf of the kitchen. You make the list, weekly or monthly. Others may ‘volunteer’ to shop for you, but they have no clue what to bring. You are the family grocer. You know what is in surplus, and what is tending to zero. You know how many days the flour is going to last given the baking rate of the family.
You know how much to order of what item to keep up with the current culinary interests and the sudden diets in the family.
Housekeeper and Facilities Manager
The expectation is that everyone in the house does their bit. Heh!
Regardless, you are the chief housekeeper. You do your daily rounds. Make sure all wash clothes are loaded in the washing machine. You make sure all beds are made. You make sure dirty socks are not lying in the middle of the living room.
Whether you do the task, or whether it is delegated, you have to supervise. You turn your back on the tasks for a day and the house is unrecognizable.
Everyone clicks amazing pictures of the lovely plants that you have carefully cultivated. They ooh and ahh over every bud and bug. Does that mean they tend to the plants? They may! When they are in a great mood. Or when they ‘feel like it’, which may not be often, and is highly unpredictable.
But you, you who brought those seeds, planted them lovingly, talked to the plants and coaxed them to grow, you have to do this every day. For you, this is not a choice for the day you ‘feel like it’. Plants are living, breathing things, and have to be cared for every day. Else they die. And you have chlorophyll on your hands.
Balancing the moods, whims, and fancies of a large family cannot be easy. Whether everyone lives under the same roof, or not.
The mood swings of the teenager. The crankiness of the toddler. The ‘this is how things were done in my time’ opinions of the mother-in-law. The preferences of the visiting uncle. The snide comments of the sister-in-law.
You have to absorb all of this, and ensure the boat continues to sail as if it is a sunny day. On most days, you manage to pull it off.
You may be the most organized household on earth. But if something decides not to be found, it will hide right under your nose, and not be found.
Who in the entire house is capable of finding this? You! Who does everyone come running to? You! And guess what? You find it! Each time!
Because, without even being aware, you have noted all the misplaced stuff. You know what others in the house tend to do with their things. You know where they are most likely to throw their stuff in a hurry.
Yes, you are Sherlock Holmes, and Miss Marple, and Mma Ramotswe, all bundled together into one person. Feel good, woman!
I don’t need to say anything about this particular job, do I? You know who you are, and what ALL you do on a daily basis!
Fight Referee or The Honorable Judge
Kids, kids and their friends, kids and other members of the family, other members of the family — fights can occur anywhere and at any time.
You can ignore it all and pretend it will solve itself. You might as well be living in Utopia.
At some point, you are going to be called to act as the match referee or the judge with the gavel.
You throw away thoughts of your safety and separate the warring factions. You listen to the defense from both parties, wear your most neutral hat, and pronounce the winner.
And watch with dismay as the warring factions gang up against you and pronounce your judgment as useless.
Still, you are called upon again in 5 minutes.
Finance Manager and Deal Spotter
You may be employed or not. You may be earning or not.
But you are the one who knows where to shop to get the best deals in town. You are the one who collects all the discount coupons and ‘remembers’ to use them in the right place and at the right time.
You may or may not be earning, but you make the money last much longer!
You may live in a nuclear family, or a joint family. But you remember the birthdays of all senior and junior members of the extended family. You remember their tastes, and what they already own. You come up with ideas about what to gift them.
You remember when their medical check-ups are due, and what their last recorded blood pressure reading was.
You make sure they are stocked up on all the required medicines. You manage the medicine cabinet for the entire household.
Allergy season? Ensure the allergy meds are well stocked. Exam time? Make sure headache tablets and cooling pads are all available in a jiffy.
You do this because you care about all of them. You cannot help it.
Surprise birthday party for the kid? Baby shower for the best friend? 70th birthday party for the mom? 50th wedding anniversary for the inlaws? Birthday party for the kid’s pet turtle? Graduation party? Your own anniversary?
Who plans, organizes, decides the guest list, sends out invites, supervises the menu, officiates the party, cleans up the after mess?
As always, others may have opinions, provide some help here and there, complain about the food, and so forth, but you are the Event Manager!
It doesn’t matter who asked for the pet, who promised to take care of it, who said they would feed it and clean its poop, and take it for a walk, and so on.
In the final analysis, it will be found that you are the designated caretaker for all the pets in the house. The dog, the cat, the squirrel, all of them know the hand that feeds them.
The thing about this one though is the unconditional love you get in exchange. It somewhat makes up for all the exhaustion. I am not sure about the cat though. I am not a cat person!
24×7 Support Center Manager
You may have a day job, you may be an amazing artist, you may be so many other things. But you are also indispensable for the household. At all times.
You are the first person to be called when someone loses a sock. You are the one they look for when someone develops a fever in the middle of the night. You are the one whose advice is sought when the pet refuses to eat.
You are the shoulder when a heart is broken, or a job is lost.
Yup, you are the one!
Hat Tip Earner
In spite of all this, you manage to hold your own. You are your own person, and you keep your identity! If that doesn’t deserve a hat tip, what does?
Remember that folks around may not tell you what you are in their lives. They may not remember to acknowledge your role in their lives. But that should not stop you from feeling good about yourself.
You are not merely a woman, you are so many people rolled up neatly into one. Every day!