So Many Vampires Are Living In My Head

It is getting pretty crowded with Edward, Damon, Jaxon, Stefan, Emmett, and so many others

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I read the Twilight series several years ago. It was fascinating. Who knew I’d actually read through scenes where people were drinking blood out of styrofoam cups using a straw? And not feel even a teeny bit nauseated. Vampires? Blood? Biting people’s necks? Pfth! No biggie.

Edward, Bella, Jacob — they all started living in my head, and they continue to reside there comfortably after all these years. Why wouldn’t they? I’ve made them feel very welcome considering I’ve read the series more than once and will watch random parts of the movies anytime.

And life was chugging along.

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About 2 weeks ago, everything changed. My teenage daughter discovered the world of vampires, witches, and dragons created by Tracy Wolff. She couldn’t stop talking about it. At the same time, she didn’t want to be a spoiler by telling me the good parts. She wanted to discuss the stuff happening in the books, so I was compelled to start reading them.

I was reluctant. I mean, I wanted to stay loyal to Edward. Edward Cullen is special. Like a first crush. The feeling never really goes away, does it?

But it was hard to resist. So I started reading. I was 2 pages in and began complaining about the predictable cliches. My daughter asked me not to voice my opinions and to enjoy the flow. Ok.

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So far so good. Suddenly she decided she wanted to watch The Vampire Diaries (TVD) on Netflix. Some of her friends watched it long ago and haven’t stopped gushing over it. Just for good measure, the universe decided that merely reading a book series was not good enough. My teenager started getting suggestions and gentle nudges on social media about watching TVD.

She started watching The Vampire Diaries. I was passing by. I sat down to watch a little — you know — to check if it was ok for her to watch. And I forgot to get up. I am now welded to the couch.

If you are planning to start, you might want to consider one small detail. It has 8 seasons and an average of 22 episodes per season. That’s about 176 episodes. At 45 minutes per episode, it might take us…never mind. Let me not even bother computing this nonsense.

I must stop watching at once and reclaim my life.

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Who lives in my head now? You mean apart from the original Twilight family? Mostly Damon Salvatore from TVD. If you have watched even a single episode of TVD, you will agree that he quickly makes his home in gullible women’s heads. Jaxon Vega from Crave is trying to get there but meh. It might take him a while. Or not. Edward Cullen has set a high benchmark and Damon and Jaxon will forever be compared to him, although Damon is a bad boy and knows his way into people’s heads.

Maybe that’s the allure — the ‘I’m a good boy who likes to pretend to be bad.’ Oooh…all these vampire boys start out that way. And then carve their names in blood inside our hearts. Ok, ok, my heart.

Right now Damon occupies a prime position. Edward has a permanent seat. We need to see how far Jaxon gets. Stefan — meh, Elena can keep him. Meanwhile, Jacob and Flint may have a few small duels in my head too. While the vampires establish their supremacy, the dragons and wolf folks can’t be left behind.

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It’s been about 4–5 days or more, or less. I’ve lost track. I read Crave during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I binge-watch The Vampire Diaries (TVD) at all other times with small high-speed breaks for the loo and such like.

I am not sure when I bathed last or combed my hair, and it has nothing to do with the pandemic or the fact that everyone is working from home. I think my teenager is living a similar life. I haven’t had time to notice. We meet on the couch and claim our favorite corners. Days are a blur. It has been a while since my husband came anywhere close to the TV remote. I think he fears that he may have his head ripped off.

We have 146 episodes to go and I still have 3 books to read in the Crave series. My daughter is a little ahead in the reading department. I suspect she doesn’t sleep.

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What’s the lure, I wonder? What makes a cough, cough, happily married mom watch this kind of fiction with eyes bulging out? Or hold my breath as Grace and Jaxon have their first real contact? Or thirst for more even as the bloodsuckers quench their own thirst using packets of human blood stolen from a local blood bank? I actually laughed when I first saw those packets of blood. I need my head examined.

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Stephenie Meyer, Tracy Woolf, and others like them have the recipe down pat to make young adults (YA) salivate. So many books, movies, TV series about all kinds of mythical creatures, especially vampires, and look how popular they all are!

Edward Cullen: I’m the world’s most dangerous predator, Bella. Every thing about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell.

That pretty much sums it up. These vampire folks make an appearance on screen or in books and we cannot resist. They are predators and we are hapless prey.

Also, I am convinced I am a young adult. YA. That’s the only explanation.