Satire — Please don’t rooin the solution 🙂
Mr. Maslow had it all figured out. He knew what the caveman really wanted. Basic needs. Everything else is just fluff. Really, think about it. Food, clothing, shelter. That’s it. You are sorted. Add-ons are just that — add-ons.
Worldwide, the greatest struggle all life forms go through is for these basic needs — food, clothing, and shelter. Maybe not even clothing so much. Cut that. Nudism is apparently making a comeback. Food and shelter are survival-grade requirements. There is air too, but it is free for now. Oh, and water, for which there are multiple skirmishes going on here and there. But yeah, food and shelter mainly. Also, access to toilet facilities. And maybe a clean bath. Now I am getting greedy.
So, do we agree that food and shelter are literally everything we need to survive, and possibly even thrive?
What if I tell you that there is a simple solution to this? There are natural portable homes that take care of food, shelter, and hold your breath — even toilet facilities and grooming. Not kidding!
Only a couple of small hitches to gain access to these homes though. They are temporary — you can stay for about 450 days max. Your name must be Joey. And your chances of getting access to such homes are very, very slim.
Yup! You heard it first here!
Welcome to Kangaroo homes!
- Single occupancy, maybe two, but that would be a stretch.
- Free food.
- Free boarding.
- Safe and secure.
- Snug and comfortable all-weather interiors.
- Pee and poop as you please. Cleaning services will take care of it in a jiffy.
- Regular grooming services administered with TLC.
- Completely eco-friendly. Zero carbon footprint.
- Zero maintenance. Your only job is to look cute.
- Portable. The home moves with you, or you move with the home — same thing.
- Did we mention Free Food!!
There you have it! A fantastic food and shelter service that is the stuff of dreams.
Disclaimer: We can try living inside a kangaroo’s pouch, but I suspect mommy roo can tell her baby from a human. Unless we figure out a clever way to get past her, this solution is right now only on paper. But this is a small hitch. Make your down payment now and we will have it figured out shortly. Hop on to the roo home bandwagon now.
Seriously though, I recently learned about how kangaroo pouches work and was blown away. Such an amazing design of nature. Baby joeys are born and gently nudged into the pouch where they live for the next year or so without a care in the world.
Mamma’s nipples are handy. So food is available on a need basis. Baby joeys poop and pee with abandon in the pouch. Mamma roo licks it clean and also licks the joey to keep it clean. Yeah, mamma roo’s job is unenviable.
As if that is not bad enough for mamma roo, joeys live in the pouch but begin to venture out close by. They don’t wipe their feet at the door which means they bring dirt and grime into the home. Kids are the same everywhere! Pesky brats! Mamma roo has to lick all that dirt away. Sucks to be mamma roo.
But look at the mindblowing design! A portable home with all amenities and a doting mamma to provide snug comfort. Joeys have a good life, right?